turn that frown upside down

Why does misery love company?
I don't know about you, but I do not like being miserable. At all.The less time I'm pissed off, sad, or blah, the better.
Are we really that pessimistic that we would rather hear about pains in the asses or backs, than what made us giggle or get butterflies?
I read a blog named My Big Fat Blog. the woman was borderline suicidal because she had put weight on over the years. she hates how she looks and isn't pleased that her husband works out and eats right and has not gained weight over the years. some supporter wrote in, saying that hubby is really the enemy. What the hell kind of support is that? I find wallowing in self-pity an extreme downer. and an extra pat on the back to stay down, is just as bad. empathy is an important characteristic to have as a friend, indeed. but come on!

I got this in one of those chain emails...
distraught thoughts:
If you keep saying you're always broke, guess what? You'll always be broke.
If you keep saying you can't trust soul, you will always find someone in your life to betray you.
If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed.
If you keep saying you can't find someone to love or believe in you, your very thoughts will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs,
Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more poseitive and power packed with faith, hope, love and action.
Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.
Watch your thoughts...they become words.
Watch your words...they become actions.
Watch your actions...they become habits.
Watch your habits...they become your character.
Watch your character...for it becomes your destiny.

don't stay sad. and don't let your big fat blog friends stay sad, either...

can't think of a catchy phrase

Ever have one of those friends who just sucks the energy right out of you? Every phone conversation is a duty. Saturday afternoon shopping becomes confessional behind the fitting room curtain. A casual Happy Hour becomes an oh so Crappy Hour.
What makes us keep these friends? Sure they listen every now and then, but for the most part, it's "woa is she." I actually broke up with a friend I had like that. She didn't piss me off, nor did we argue. She was just too damned much work. Well, I got back together with her about 4 years ago, and things had been rolling along pretty good up until about the first of the year. (she sold me out to the new friends we made Labor Day Weekend) I have done a lot of work on me. PMA(positive mental attitude) relaxation, patience, consciousness, awareness, and a bunch of other stuff that doesn't actually have a name, I don't think---but it does not include incessant bitching(which I am trying to avoid here, in this blogspace) It could very well be the most beautiful day, in the DFW metroplex, so far this year. Sunny, not a cloud in the sky. There is a small little breeze that makes the leaves dance in the trees. It's the kind of day, that makes you wanna quit your job and buy a boat. Or maybe a convertible. Makes you wanna smile at everyone who looks your way. Ring Ring Ring...allows you pick up the phone, not even worried about who it could be. I have now forgotten almost all of my personal ME work, and have regressed. I'm this close to pissed that I'm friends with this person. Exasperated that I still have almost 6 more hours to work today; and if I still smoked, I'd be puffing away for sure. We had rain, tornadoes and hail yesterday. Why now? It's not her, personally. Well, it really is her personally. Moreover, it's her inability to believe him when he said "I need some time" I looked it up in the Mars/Venus translation guide. It means leave him the fuck alone! Quite possibly forever. Quit crying when he doesn't return your calls. Would YOU call YOU back? Merciful Lord in Heaven!
Deep breaths. It would be easier if this place had windows. I'm trying to muster up all the joy and love I can. Alright, I can do this. (nodding) I can. close my eyes and think of the lake. sitting at the helm- I'm some fab, glam movie star. Wind in my hair. I don't even know who's driving the boat. I don't care. hot sun beating down on my face. cold drink in my hand. another day in paradise. Damn. I have a good life.
Excellent. Just got a call that made me smile. and another giving me 2 free hours before more work. (more nodding) yep. I can do this

Blahnik worthy

Last year, I had an actual boyfriend. (not the same one as the sad ex...)He was the best and the worst all rolled up into one package. He dumped me for a very shallow, superficial reason. It set me back a bit. quite a bit. Over the past few months, he has called a couple times....you're the real deal, the whole package, I don't know how I let you go, blahblahblah. He never did anything to follow up, which made things very easy for me to deal with. Actions speak louder than words, you know. Well, imagine my surprise when he showed up at my door the other day. He wanted in. Wanted to tell me he's back, and is gonna prove to me that he really does want me and he was a fool--more blahblahblah. He looked F I N E fine. Fine or not, I'm unclear as to who the fuck he thinks he is. I guess, really I'm wondering who he thinks I am. Does he really think that I'm just gonna drop everything and open the door ?(and my legs, I think he's hoping) Makes me think he thinks that my life is so empty, I'll jump at the chance to have something. The good part was sooo good. Not just sex. Fun. Lots of long talks. walks. the stuff sappy songs are about. This was not some fly by night thing we had. It was serious. and it hurt my feelings when it ended the way that it did. I cried. it wasn't the action itself that was unforgiveable, I have let go of that, it's the thinking behind it. It made me feel horrible. and he hasn't changed. maybe he has. not my problem anymore. My brother always teases me, saying that I don't give those poor bastards a break. but at 37, I don't really think this is the time to settle. I thought I was mad for a minute, but I'm really not. it's empowering to see my own growth. It felt good not to want him anymore. no anger, just matter o' fact. and as much as i'd like to settle down, settling does not settle down make.
I'm sure Cosmo would disagree saying I should wait to see if he really means it...naaaahhh.
I'd rather do it the Carrie Bradshaw way--go out and buy a hot new pair of shoes, and treat myself to a sushi dinner!!
still no purple mascara, though...
damn, I have a good life

HABEMUS BLOGAM

Have you read these things? The graphics in some of em are incredible. there are links to cute quotes and vegas betting sites. Pics of kittens and beer drinkers, and quite to my surprise (sitting here at work) some unnamed, and very vivid snatch.
Many of these people are pissed off at something. Some seem quite stupid in contrast to those who actually discuss rocket science here. Lots of people think they have flunked any and all exams they may have taken today. what's up with that?
One chick talked about Earth day, planting a tree, and recycling the inserts they put in condom packages...(aren't the package inserts condoms????)
Teen pregnancy was a concern for one...saying it's a worldwide epidemic. Sorry folks, uneducating Americans do not qualify as worldwide epidemia.
I read one whole blog on purple mascara, the quest to find it and a date to wear it on. I am far from conservative , but no matter what they're showing in Vogue this season-- purple mascara is gay (watch me be wearing it next week)
Hanoi Jane is still pissing people off. What I want to know is why she keeps showing up. The media is as much at fault as she is, they keep interviewing her and plastering her pic all over town. I don't care if that's their job, knock it off.
There are verbas e pensementos, which isn't in Spanish, maybe Portuguese (which, whispered in the ear of some, will make them putty in your hand) translates easily into words and thoughts. There are a ton of foreign (to me) language blogs...there are even some in English that are so cryptic they appear foreign.
My favorite one was about how to know whether or not you should be a school principal. Seems that there's one in Racine Wisconsin that got a severe ass beating from a pole weilding 8 year old. If you are getting your ass beat by any 8 year old, I don't care who you are, you need help. and lots of it. Furthermore, you have no business being a protector of yutes.

This concludes my review of the emergency blogcast system. This was not a test.

On a side note, I tried to give up sugar for a month. I was successful for 10 days. Yesterday I succumbed to the pressure, ending my fast with the consumption of 16 (one of those plastic sleeves full) count them 16...Thin Mint cookies. Hail Glowing Embers/Girl Scouts of America!!!!

sweating

whoever came up with that saying don't sweat the small stuff is in the rankings with the first one to slice bread. sure makes things a lot easier. who cares about lost blog entries or missing black socks? really, almost everything is small stuff. the only sweat i'm getting lately is from the rising temperatures. and even that's no major deal. if the check doesn't come today, hell, it'll be there eventually. of course you can still give a merry "hey motherfucker" yell to the guy who cuts you off in traffic...but that's really only out of habit. he didn't hit you. get over it. keep driving. and what if...well, if someone dies, you'll miss them, but that's really all it's about. they're wherever they go when people die, not feeling any distress from this world. miss em for a while. hang onto the good memories. throw the shitty ones in the trash and move on. and for those who think their lives are worthless, shut up about it. do something fun. go outside.. get your head outta the dark cave it's in, and realize that it's nothing but a thing, and do something to improve your circumstances. appreciate the silver lining and quit looking for the silver platter. you gotta make it happen yourself. complaining gets nothing accomplished, if you think about it. that "don't worry be happy" song used to piss me off...I don't know if I'm quite there yet, but I get the big picture... not only that it's a small song. don't sweat any small things

contact

...not like with outerspace--well, sorta--the ex. Turns out he had surgery last week. What a different world I live in now, compared to then. I'm just sitting here shaking my head. His life sucks. He has no job. His mom died. And now he lives with his other ex.
Poor guy. In a different life...that was a different life thank the powers that be...but in a different life, I was such a different person. Looked different. Talked different. Acted different. Everything I was then was according to his rules. Which, in and of itself, is an anomaly...I wasn't like that before, and nowhere remotely close after. Fuck. Now I take vacations and go out to dinner. I come and go as I please and I drink whenever I want. I read books and go to baseball games. I take walks and go to museums. I even ...gasp...go on dates. I got my opinion back, and my mind has opened up. I meditate. I have become more accepting and patient. I like my half full glass and my silver lining, thank you very much

for cryin out loud

Oh yeah, I thought I was so cool. Got the blog thing set up. Posted two little entries. Was on a roll. some how, I deleted my original post site name and while looking for the don't postpone joy bit I wrote yesterday, I changed the whole flippin thing. Oh well. This format is easier to read anyway. I've got special needs when it comes to computers. It isn't that hard, is it?

At the risk of a runon paragraph, I'm just gonna go on and bitch a little more. Yesterday I completed my first root canal/crown procedure. If I can make it through that, I can figure this cyber crap out. Although, the dentist did enlighten me to the fact that I need another crown. Good news is, no root canal needed. The cavemen just let their teeth fall out didn't they? Thinking about it, I guess another thousand bucks is a fair price to pay so that I don't look like some NASCAR babe...(forgive the stereotype to those offended)